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    生活的智慧在于,別和層次不同的人爭辯

    所屬欄目:人生感悟 | 審核時間: 2019-07-10??
    人生感悟:在未知領域探索,每一個人的世界都是要細細品味和研究的。整理他們的手藝人生,我獲得了自己的感動和收獲,他們給了我精神力量。 手藝人是一種階級。只是這個階級無比特殊,幸福感極強。在這個階級群體,人是為了一門手藝打磨一輩子,至死方休的。世界之大,選擇之多,只委身了之一。 ????

    曾經看過一個故事,說有位媽媽,帶著未成年的女兒逛街,逛街回來,女兒畫了一幅《陪媽媽逛街》。

    媽媽拿過女兒的畫,瞪眼一看,卻懵了:畫上,沒有車水馬龍,沒有高樓大廈,更沒有藍天白云。

    只有一根又一根的,奇怪的柱子,女兒到底畫的是什么。

    這位媽媽再仔細端詳,才突然醒過神來,女兒畫的,是一條條人腿。

    原來,女兒年幼,個頭不高,被母親牽著手,映入眼簾的只是無數成年人的大腿,擺來動去地遮住視線。

    又好比,兩個人都在爬山,一個人到了山頂,另一個還在山腰。

    到了山頂的人就喊:快看,是大海。

    還在山腰的人則一臉懵:明明前面是一棵樹。

    這說明,層次不同的人,看到的世界也是不一樣的,自然難以交流。



    人類的認知,就是一個巨大的天坑,呈漏斗態勢排布。認知不同,層次自然不同。

    越往下,所見越少,機會越少,只窺見世界一角,自然無法理解世界的風光無限。

    越往上,所見越多,越是感覺世界廣闊無邊。

    這就是層次的差異所在,避免沒有標準答案的爭辯,是保全自己和他人的最優選擇。



    出身小鎮的堂姐,大學畢業后就留在上海工作。

    前陣子,她抽空帶著大包小包的東西回了老家。

    還沒進家門,就遇到鄰居阿姨們坐在院子里打麻將。

    張阿姨一看表姐提著東西,以為她這是準備回老家發展了,開頭就是:“妞啊,總算回來了,大城市凈折騰人,還是回家好!”

    表姐還沒接茬,張阿姨又接了一句:“你媽說你還沒對象,看看這都三十一了,也是該找個人嫁了,阿姨趕明兒幫你多物色物色。

    表姐笑了笑說,“不勞阿姨費心了,我這次是回來看看我媽,過幾天就回去了。找對象的事,還得順其自然。



    張阿姨立刻臉色一變,“你說說你這孩子,都這歲數了還順其自然,女人一過三十,就只剩下被人挑的份了,趕緊找個婆家,結婚生娃才是正當事”。

    我剛好去堂姐家串門,路過時聽到這番話,心里憤憤為堂姐打不平,剛準備把腦子里打好的草稿一股腦倒出來,堂姐見到我,示意我跟她一起回去。

    到家之后,我氣呼呼對堂姐抱怨:“張阿姨這都是什么人啊,弄得你像菜市場的打折菜一樣,恨不得趕緊售出。”

    堂姐倒是很平靜:“人各有志,我和她本來就不是一類人,想法差太多,與其兩個人唇槍舌戰,不如讓她說去,沒必要傷了和氣。“

    那一刻,我深深體會到堂姐做人的智慧。

    因為接觸的圈子不同,堂姐沒辦法同意張阿姨關于女人一到三十就掉價的觀點。

    而張阿姨,一輩子活在小鎮,早已被根深蒂固的傳統觀念所纏繞,這里的姑娘,二十幾歲就生了孩子,絕大多數在這方寸之地,被困住了身體,也困住了視野和靈魂。

    認知水平不在一條線的人,往往聊不到一塊去。

    你在那些根本不在一個頻道的人面前,凡事都爭個明白,就是在做無益的消耗。



    之前在淘寶上買了一件衣服,顏色和圖片嚴重不符,質量看起來也很一般。

    當時正在氣頭上,于是拍了照片和賣家理論。

    當我說圖片和顏色不符時,賣家回答,淘寶上的圖都是有色差的,那是你沒做好心理準備。

    當我說質量和價格不符,賣家來一句我家的質量算好的了。

    爭論了半天,賣家還是不退,打了個差評,賣家竟然頻繁發來短信,恐嚇我刪除評論。

    有句話說得好:“寧與聰明人打架,不與白癡說話。”

    對于這種人,做無謂的爭辯和糾纏,也難以消除人與人之間的認知差距。

    最好的發聲方式,莫過于少說話,遠離這些人。

    而且一旦遇到行事沖動的人,爭辯的后果更是比想象的還要嚴重。

    之前的一則新聞里,一位媽媽下班陪孩子寫作業,孩子字寫得難看,說了幾遍沒學會,這位媽媽開始大聲指責孩子。

    爸爸聞訊趕來,便和媽媽爭吵起來,一個認為教育要好好說,不能動武,一個說好好說沒用。

    吵著吵著,慘劇發生了,爸爸竟然跑進雜物間,拿起農藥往嘴里倒。

    當兩個人不處于同一個層次,不要急著分輸贏,用自己的價值觀去碾壓對方,結果很可能釀成慘劇。



    有一段話是這么說的:“所以,人類也是一樣的,以任何一個普通人類的觀點出發,只有他自己才是其人生唯一的主角,其他人,無論再怎么搶眼,也不過是配角罷了。 

    而正義也就成了很主觀的東西。亂世中成長的孩子,盛世中成長的孩子,貧民窟里長大的孩子,王公貴族的后裔……接觸到不同的層次,被灌輸不同的價值觀,最后每個人,都會有屬于自己的正義。 你以為你在做的事是對的,也只不過是因為,那符合你心中的正義而已。”



    人與人之間的關系,就像水中的魚,不同層次的魚游不到一起,不同層次的人,也不可能成為真正的朋友,因為各自的人生感悟不同,對待世界和自然的心態不同。



    所以,永遠不要和層次不同的人爭辯,這個世界不是非黑即白,陌生人如此,朋友如此,夫妻亦是如此。

    廣闊的生命中,你所經歷的每一個部分,其實都會構建出你的不同面。這不是圓滑世故,這是生活把你打磨出了更豐富的層次。

    愿我們能把時間多花在打磨自身身上,造就出不同的一面,彪悍的、犀利的、柔軟的、細膩的、理性的、有條理的。

    別和層次不同的人爭辯,道不同不相為謀。

    上一篇:人,要么孤獨,要么庸俗 下一篇:沒有了
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