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    好的感情,都是麻煩出來的

    所屬欄目:愛情物語 | 審核時間: 2019-07-10??
    愛情物語:平凡是那荒原,孕育著崛起,只要你鶴崗開拓;平凡是那泥土,孕育著收獲,只要你肯耕耘;平凡是那細流,孕育著深邃,只要你肯積累。平凡是那一場驚險搏擊之后的小憩,是一次輝煌追求之后的沉思。

    感情的發展,需要主動麻煩

    剛畢業那會兒,
    我要去廣州找工作,
    但人生地不熟的,
    找房子真是一件麻煩事兒。
    我如無頭蒼蠅找了好久也沒找到滿意的,
    迫不得已之下,
    就聯系上了強子。

    還在上大學的時候,
    我和強子曾一起參加過一個比賽,
    那段時間相處得挺愉快,
    強子也留給了我一個電話,
    打招呼說有去廣州記得找他玩。

    不過等比賽結束后,
    我們因為沒有交集,
    也慢慢少了聯系,
    最多路上碰面互相問候一下。
    所以,要冒然地打電話給強子,
    讓我感覺頗為唐突,心底惴惴不安。

    可沒想到,
    強子一聽到我要來廣州,
    語氣中竟然有點喜出望外,
    二話不說,
    就招呼我先在他家住著,
    等找到合適的房子再搬出去。

    到廣州的那天晚上,
    強子精心安排了一頓晚餐給我接風,
    把酒小酌中,
    我有點不好意思跟強子說:
    “給你添麻煩了。”
    但強子卻樂呵呵地一笑,跟我這樣說道:
    “話別這樣說,
    其實那次比賽結束之后,
    就想著時不時地約你出來聚聚,
    但一直沒找到機會。
    若不是你這次打電話過來,
    讓我們有個機會好好叨嗑一下,
    說不定我們兩個以后就完全失去聯系了。”
    細想之下,我不禁點了點頭。



    現在,
    我雖然已經不在廣州工作了,
    卻仍跟強子保持聯系,
    我一直慶幸當初的那次“麻煩”,
    因為那次的交集又把我們人生的軌跡疊合在一起了。

    自小我就被灌輸一個道理。
    有事盡量自己解決,
    少給人家添麻煩。

    我以前對這一點也深信不疑,
    但后來才明白,
    在生活中,在一段感情中,
    多少需要適當的麻煩。
    不然容易擦肩而過。
    我們每個人都是一顆星球,
    偶爾需要主動靠近,
    彼此的光錐才能重疊。
    倘若我們一直待在原地,
    幾多美好都會與我們擦肩而過。


    感情的維系,需要彼此麻煩

    你細想一下,多少好的感情,
    都是從這樣的“彼此麻煩”中熟稔起來的:
    你讓他幫忙打印一下文件,
    他讓你明早捎帶一份早餐;
    你求她介紹今天口紅的型色,
    她問你身上的裙子是哪里買的。

    上個周末,
    發小來廈門出差,我們倆見了一面。
    兩人聊到以前一些事時,
    才意識到竟已相識十幾年,
    不禁一陣唏噓。

    后來,我自個兒細想了一下,
    之所以這份感情從來沒中斷過。
    是因為雙方有來有往。
    比如我寫完一篇文章都會不客氣地丟給他,
    讓他以讀者的身份幫我看一下哪些地方需要修改。
    而他呢,是一位游戲策劃師,
    也會厚著臉皮拖著我去打磨他的方案。

    我曾看過一個問題,
    “你是怎么跟最好的朋友漸行漸遠的?”
    有一個回答是這樣的:

    也不知道怎么了,
    以前有事沒事都會找他,
    后來忙于工作后,
    既沒了閑侃的閑情逸致。
    有事時又怕給他添麻煩。
    也許正因為這樣,
    所以聯系少了,感情也跟著疏遠了。

    每天都是你走你的陽關道,
    我過我的獨木橋,
    關系自然難以維系,
    感情也必然日漸淡薄。

    其實,“麻煩別人”不是說給人家添亂子,
    而是說我們要懂得給感情的火焰添柴加火,
    不至于因為太久沒聯系,
    而斷了想念,淡了感情。


    好的感情,樂于被麻煩

    況且,
    在你憂心忡忡地害怕給別人造成困擾時,
    一些在意你的人卻巴不得你去找他幫忙。

    我記得在一次閑聊中,
    我的一個同事提到了一個觀點:

    如果你的請求是應朋友之義,合乎常理,
    從心底里看重你的朋友、喜歡你的人,
    并不會覺得不滿,反而會心生歡喜。

    因為從某種程度而言,
    你找一個人幫忙,
    通常是因為從心底里認可他,
    不然大部分人都不會去求助于一個不以為意的人。

    這個觀點我深以為然。
    他順著這個話題跟我說起一件事。

    前年,他母親生病住院,
    要動一個手術,亟需用錢。
    他本想打電話給他一個很好的哥們,
    但那時,
    他哥們才研究生畢業,手頭并不寬裕。

    他猶豫了一下,
    怕讓哥們為難,
    就尋求其他人的幫助。
    誰知他哥們從他處聽到他母親住院的消息,
    直接打了一個電話過來,
    把他罵得狗血淋頭:
    “你有沒有把我當朋友,這種事都不告訴我。”

    哥們一通怒罵后,
    馬上轉了兩萬給他解燃眉之急。



    很多人也有類似這樣的經歷,
    有時會生朋友的悶氣,
    原因不是朋友惹到你了,
    只是朋友總是對你太過客氣。

    乍聽一下讓人啼笑皆非,
    但細想一下又能理解。

    因為朋友之間,
    既反感過于狎昵,沒有分寸感,
    更不喜于過分的距離感。
     


    你不愿意種花
    你說,我不愿看見它一點點凋零
    是的
    為了避免結束
    你避免了一切開始

    我一直很喜歡顧城的這一首詩。

    我們因為擔憂惹人生厭,
    所以羞于開口;
    我們害怕在乎的人會心生不喜,
    所以躊躇不前。

    上一篇:和老婆講道理的男人,情商都有問題 下一篇:沒有了
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